Family, a treasure in Life.
These family dynamics might confuse you at first, but I will explain.
- Our son’s niece is six weeks older than he is.
- The oldest daughter was pregnant with her first child when I was pregnant with our second.
- The age between our daughters is greater than between the oldest daughter and myself.
- I’m the same age as my son-in-law.
- I have Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren, yet I’m not a senior by government age standards.
I’m sure you’ve begun to figure it out. My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage. We are a blended family, nothing uncommon there.
Why I wrote this post is the fifteen years between my husband and I, and how that sometimes brings confusion to a story.
I won’t use their names in stories so here’s a brief, who is who, and how I will refer to them in future posts. For instance, I will call my husband, “Mister.”
- Mister’s daughter, (my stepdaughter, but I have never liked that impersonal label) will be “the Oldest or Oldest Daughter.”
- Mine and Mister’s daughter will be, “Our Daughter or Youngest Daughter.”
- Our son being there is only one has his title sewn up.
- The Granddaughters I’ll number, oldest being GD 1. She’ll love that title, but girls you’re all number 1 with us. (Technically, they are my step-grandchildren, but I have never and will never consider them anything but ours.)
- Our one Grandson makes that simple.
- We have three Great-Grandchildren (GGC’s) so far and I’ll number them as they came into our lives.
- When I speak of a adopted son or daughter, it’s an endearment not a legal scenario. These two children, adults now, and their mother have been entwined in our family for near thirty years. They are too special for the title of friends so we refer to them as adopted. Their dear Mother, who we greatly miss since her recent passing, was often jokingly referred to as, Misters Other wife.
- Our cute four-legged Grand animals have given me permission to use their names.
Some of the Grandchildren having fun with their Aunt and Uncle (I keep telling them they need to try this now that they’re in their twenties & thirties.)
Over the years a couple minor hurdles have presented themselves, but the closeness and good times our family enjoys is worth every gray hair and smile line.
Often strangers have had comical responses to our age difference. I’ll share one reaction that we still joke about.
A towering male opened one of the heavy doors with thick glass covered mesh windows. He paused while two younger females with him entered. One hung back a step, her stride slow and hesitant.
Inside they faced a long, vacant and quiet hallway. When the three started walking the man’s cowboy boot heels clicked on the polished floors and two sets of squeaking sneakers joined in.
The two females shared a glance and actually giggled at the odd, rhythmic loudness.
They turned into the room marked “Office” and stepped to the reception desk in time for their scheduled appointment.
A smiling elderly woman led the trio to an inner office and gestured to three chairs. Behind the desk a man in a suit rose from his chair. Before they sat, the high-school principal shook the male newcomer’s hand.
“So, Mr… are both your daughters here to register for school?”
Mr… pointed to one female and replied, “This is my wife, and this,” he pointed to the other, “is my daughter…”
The principal turned colourful shades of red. Speechless for seconds, he shifted his feet and adjusted his suit jacket. He then voiced an apology, and we all sat.
The interview began, and during it the principle never once made eye contact with me.
Conclusions like this never bothered us. Awkward stares are also common when all the family is together and eavedropper’s hear people being addressed by their titles. Like if, I answer to both Grandma and Mom when young adults, close in age, call to me.
My skin has thickened with time, and I learned to brush aside unjust assumptions and judgements strangers sometimes make as to why we are together. We are where we are today because of 38 years of love, hard work, and combined efforts.
Age is only a number. True, but changing with age is inevitable. We enjoy our days and years together and simply tackle new challenges as life brings them.
Have you experienced a blended family?
Have you experienced love with an age difference?