Was It My Imagination

Do you have an unexplainable fear or love for something? Can a simple sight, sound or smell, change how you feel?

For many years and with unwarranted intensity, I’ve loved the ocean and feared fire.

I love many of nature’s things, but the instant I hear, touch, or smell ocean water, I actually feel a calm come over me like no other. Like I’m returning home, yet I’ve never lived near an ocean.

As for phobias, I only have a couple minor ones and none compare to my fear of fire. Saying I fear fire isn’t really correct. I enjoy a campfire or fireplace, and I’m not afraid to burn candles and such. It’s that fires have raged and haunted me in reoccurring nightmares.

For years, I’ve had a theory about these two obsessions.

My reasoning came out of nowhere, as in no suggestive books, movies or conversations. It’s more like hints were slowly given to me in my sleep and over time. I didn’t spring out of bed one morning with the complete theory fresh in my mind.

I’ve kept none of these thoughts a secret. I’m not ashamed by them. In fact, I’ve shared, joked, and laughed about this theory with friends and family.

Before you call me crazy, let me tell you about a couple extraordinary experiences that make me question the truth behind my theory. 

It happened when Mister and I finally got a chance to go on a ocean cruise.

The instant I stepped aboard the cruise ship, panic began to build. I’m sure for some this is not unusual, and maybe it’s even common, but it caught me by surprise. I’ve always been extremely comfortable on or in water. We’ve owned boats for years, and I’ve been on many lengthy voyages on small and large ocean ferries.

Was my theory cause for this reaction?

You see this theory I speak of is, I believe in a past life I captained or worked on a big wooden ship. It was my way of life, my home for years, and that’s where my strong love of the ocean comes from.

My fear, or whatever it should be called, is also a result of this past life. I believe I died on the above ship, trapped by an onboard fire.

Was my theory all a tale created by my imagination? If so, how do I explain the strange occurrences that followed?

Brief flashes of deja-vu on this voyage were taken in stride, but what happened on the forth night will live with me forever.

It was full into night, and I was sound asleep when all of a sudden I shot up in bed. There was no unusual noises or motions, and only a sliver of a moon lit our cabin.

I woke with no worry or anxiety like when one has a nightmare. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Drawn to the window, I stood and scanned the dark silhouettes of passing land. I watched the boats running lights glisten on the rippled water as the ship began to quietly enter a channel to another port and our dock for the day.

There were previous night maneuvers like this, all which I slept through. But, on the forth night my heart raced with excitement, a feeling of familiarity, attachment, an appreciation of the area. 

What makes this unexplainable is I had never been to, seen pictures of, or even researched this port before this journey.

How can I not believe the long ago sailor in me knew this place?

This thought was reinforced by a memorable incident which happened the next day when the ship idled in place by a glacier.

While standing at the ships rail enjoying the view an announcement came over the speaker system. My worst nightmare began for real, yet instead of panicking, I stood barely phased. There was a fire onboard in the spa which required some areas of the ship to be evacuated.

For me, this was to show me that I no longer carried the sailors worries now that he had returned home the night before?

By the way, the fire which was electrical, was contained and put out with minimal damage.

In general, I don’t believe in things that can’t be seen, heard, or proven, but ghosts or drifting sprits are my exception.

Was this all coincidence?

Believe what you may, but I believe I returned a lost soul home while on this voyage.

It’s been ten years since this trip and I haven’t had a, trapped by fire, nightmare. I do still love the ocean though.

Have you ever experienced deja-vu?

Have you ever felt that a spirt guides, protects or is near you?

The picture is a couple whales playing beside the ship.