People Say The Funniest Things

College

It’s not a big, beach inspired craft piece, and it doesn’t ooze restfulness or pop with vibrant colors. It’s no great work of art, but I did option two from, Art and a Glass House.

Funny things pictures have inspired people to say over the years caused me to pause before this college wall I finally got done in our bedroom.

On occasion, I too am guilty of blurting what pops to mind without realizing its silliness. It usually happens when I’m either comfortable with the company I’m in, or embarrassingly, when I’m nervous.

There are successful comedians whose routines reflect and feed off this action, so many of us must share the habit.

Innocent, spontaneous and uncensored comments can be far more real and entertaining as long as they’re not cruel.

I would never want family and friends to watch what they say or be correct in how they speak.

Our 8 x 10 enlarged wedding photo taken with a personal camera, has long since yellowed and has spurred comments like, “Wow that’s an old picture.” I’ve never said any following responses aloud, but I’ve thought them. Gee, could it be because it was framed over three decades ago? You would look old too if you’ve hung on the wall as long as it has.

I’ve been asked, “Is that you?” I certainly hope it’s me since the person is beside Mister and it’s our wedding picture.

“You look so young.” I hope I looked young in my twenties. Maybe they really mean, but are too polite to say, I look old now? Smiley face.

If you studied the wedding picture making your own judgments, you’re not seeing things, that is a stagecoach behind us. And no, that wasn’t the mode of transportation at the time. We were married in the saloon at Fort Edmonton historic park.

There are other photos in this collection that have received interesting remarks. One is a family shot when the kids were young. This I’ve actually heard more than once. “You had such a cute family.” Wait! What are they saying, we’re not cute anymore? Another smiley face.

Here’s one I’m sure everyone has heard. “Is that your family?” Wouldn’t you like to reply, “No,” once just to see their confusion. I could mess with them right now though with the picture frame I got for Christmas. Until I change it, it’s displaying a smiling store bought family.

Most times people don’t even realize they’ve said these things, and that’s part of what makes them funny.

It only took eight years, but every picture hanging on our walls which needed updating is done. I’m pleased, and the cottage feels homey.

Have you heard funny comments about a picture you have?

Hiding In The Hotel Bathroom

hotel-coffee

Insight into travelling with someone whose sleeping habits differ from your own.

I rolled over, reached for the cell phone on the bedside table, and silently groaned. Of all mornings to be wide awake at 5:30am. If at home it would have been fine, that’s a great time to read or write, but getting up early today meant sitting in the dark and being quiet so not to disturb Mister.

I Tossed and turned, my mind raced with things to do, I did the grocery list, the weeks meal planning, and outlined two blog posts. Too bad I didn’t have a pen and paper to jot stuff down so I wouldn’t forget.

My iPad would have worked, but it was plugged in across the pitch black room and my glasses were somewhere but I wasn’t sure where.

Eventually, I dozed off and woke again at 7:30am.

Once my eyes adjusted and I recalled the rooms layout, I snuck out of bed and stumbled about in search of my clothes and glasses. You have to love those black out curtains.

Usually when staying in Hotels I have the coffee ready to just turn on in the morning, last night I thought about it but didn’t do it.

You see, coffee first thing is a necessity for me.

Next using a sliver of bathroom light I quietly moved the little in room coffee pot and makings into the bathroom. With the door closed I opened all the crinkly packages everything comes in and brewed a coffee.

Back out in the dark bedroom I sat in the armchair with my iPad ready to write this post. Not five minutes later, Mister woke, turned lights on and opened the blinds, my stealth was wasted.

Even though it was just one night stay in the city, mainly for a doctor appointment, we got some visiting in and the change of scenery was nice.

I do love to travel, how about you?

Sorry this Monday post is so late, I should be back on track next week.

My Messengers

new-years-puppies

Golden Retriever, “Ruben” and Doberman, “Dobby” are helping me wish everyone “HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Ruben, 3 and a half years old, loves poising for pictures and is always willing to send messages, to and for, Grandma.

Dobby, a 7 month old puppy says, “Look Grandma, I’m sitting nice, but I really want to lick the camera.” I guess a sign he just wanted to eat.

Here’s hoping “2017” brings Good Health and Happiness to my readers.

May Wishes Come True, and you Reach Goals you’ve set.

To my Followers and Faithful Readers I also want to say, Thank you.

Your views, likes, comments, and patience while I’m learning the blogging process means a lot. These simple gestures encourage me to keep writing, and hint to what topics are enjoyed the most.

The goal for my blog in “2017” is to continue sharing experiences in hopes to entertain, or inspire readers, and I love connecting with you via comments.

As for personal resolutions, I try not to set myself up for failure, like saying I’ll exercise and lose weight, that one never turns out as planned.

But, here are my Top five “2017” Goals.

1)  I want to visit and Enjoy Family and Friends as much as possible.

2) Appreciate what I have, and don’t dwell on what I don’t. At this point in life the main thing missing is, youth.

3) Continue to live by the Golden Rule. (Do unto others as you would have others do onto you)

4) Worry less, this is always the hardest for me to control. Sometimes, I worry about worrying. 

5) Spend more time doing hobbies that make me happy. (I have so many, I worry about which one to do. See number 4, is a problem.)

Quarter horse, “Nugget,” wanted to send his well wishes too, but he said it was too windy to have that silly paper sign around his neck.

ny-nugget

Do you have animals that put up with photography antics?

Do you make “News Years resolutions” or set yourself goals?

Cold and Curious

temp

We’re in a bitter cold spell, and our way below normal, daytime highs are a problem on grocery day. Besides the obvious of Mister and I, and the vehicle, having less enthusiasm for venturing outside or off the yard.

It’s, how to get climate sensitive food home without issue.

Oh, and if you looked at the above picture and thought, can’t those old farts (smiley face) see the tire sensor light is on. Yes, we saw it, but not to worry we just don’t have winter air in the tires yet. If you don’t live in a climate like ours, that is a joke, because many vehicle tire sensors don’t read right when cold.

Back on topic, we live 20-40 minutes from any major city, so summer heat also causes problems. The drive home is long enough to melt ice cream, warm milk and even spoil meat if it’s sitting in direct sun. A simple fix is, coolers and ice packs on those days.

This weeks weather though, posed the opposite.

Since we had an appointment in the city, we filled our day with errands along with getting groceries. Sounds simple, but we like to shop different stores for certain things. So planning the order of stops is crucial for what you’ll risk freezing inside the vehicle while you continue your day. Sometimes, it’s near impossible to plan without driving back and forth across the city.

So I got thinking. Mister says that’s when I usually get into trouble. (smiley face)

How much protection from the cold, if any, would a insulated bag provide? 

Would it prevent lettuce or eggs from getting too cold while the vehicle is not running? 

Would an actual cooler work better than an insulated bag?

I’m not a science person, and yes, I could Google an question or ask the son or Mister, they probably know, but I’ve decided to do an old fashion home experiment. A high tech test on how long it takes for a bottle of water to freeze outside, compared to one in a insulate bag, and another in a cooler. Impressive concept and format, isn’t it? (smiley face)

Anybody care to take a guess if freezing time will vary enough to make a difference? 

I’ll post the results.

My Spin On Gift Giving

gift-giving

Not sure why the song, Christmas time is coming, came to mind this morning, but perhaps because it’s only 20 days away, or because our tree is up and decorated now, or the scenery when I opened the blinds triggered it. We got about 6” of snow this week, I doubt we’ll see grass again until spring. See you next year, my diehard pansies.

For those who don’t know, I love making lists. Short ones, long ones, loose ones and ones in note books. They have a place in my purse, in draws, beside my chair and of course on the iPad seldom out of reach. One particular list is very useful, it’s gift ideas for people which I add to throughout the year.

With only a couple gifts left undecided, it’s time to study that list and finish shopping.

Since Mister’s retirement, he is more involved in choosing who gets what, and now we usually shop together. It’s rare for me to drive when it’s the two of us, but he’s a willing chauffeur as long as we’re not out evenings or weekends when places are busy.

A crowd or line-up person, Mister is not.

Retirement for us, is like coming full circle, we are back working within a budget of sorts and our Christmas gift giving reflects this.

People approaching this phase in life often worry about how they will adjust, it scares us all at first. Sure, sometimes I miss spontaneous spending, one of which is not buying bigger, special presents like we used to occasionally, but our family respects a gifts cost isn’t what’s important.

Homemade items have and I’m sure will always be acceptable gifts within our family.

I think the kids and spouses appreciate the occasional one from me, or they’re too sweet to say otherwise. It’s not that I knit everyone a scarf whether they need or want one, but if I can make an item and personalize it, I will, and I’m not the only one in the family that makes gifts.

The kids have tucked away as keepsakes some handmade presents from years past. There’s the tall, multi floor Barbie doll house, complete with furniture, a plastic canvas fold-up micro machine city, and a twill blanket, matching shipping boots and leather show halter for their pony to name a few.

This year is no different, some presents are getting made.

I also use to enjoy creating puzzles. Each person got an envelope with a list of questions. The answers had the same number of letters as following blanks and one blank in each answer was colored. The letters from those blanks spelled out their gifts hiding place.

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The Kids & Grandchildren Doing Puzzles 

Writing this post brought to mind A Birthday Gift Story from a couple years ago.

It started the fall prior to our sons birthday, part of his gift took me almost five months to complete.

With busy schedules, Mister, myself, our daughter and son met at a restaurant in a City between where we all live. After the meal, in the sunny parking lot, he used his truck’s lowered tailgate as a table to unwrap presents.

His face when he opened the box from Mister and I caused a smile. It was a mix of, on second thought, no mix, his look said, “Mom, you’re losing it.”

He lifted the white hoodie and spotted a black shirt underneath. Both items he had given me five months prior for mending.

Of course, we added something else to the gift, but I couldn’t resist wrapping these since I had finally gotten them repaired. What the heck, he hadn’t seen either for so long, they were like new to him. Unwrapping is more fun than handing him a boring plastic bag. (smiley face)

Back to Christmas thoughts.

Have other parents ever drifted asleep Christmas Eve while waiting for their children to do the same, only to wake in a panic because of how long they dozed and what they had left to do?

One year, our daughter decided that along with cookies and milk for Santa we should put hay on our roof for the reindeer. That was a detail hard for Mister to take care of in the dark of night without making noise and leaving tracks. It’s a good thing we found out, the reindeer get sluggish between flights if they eat so we only did that once. (a smiley face for our creative thinking)

Do you give homemade gifts?

The Hill Has Eyes

zombie-flamingo

October Changes To an Innocent Pink Flamingo

I was the last one left awake inside the darkened house. On my way to bed, I entered the kitchen. An almost full moon cast enough glow in the back pasture that as I passed the patio doors, horse silhouettes on the hilltop came into view.

Their poses stopped me mid-stride. Staggered in line, they stood all facing the same direction with their heads held high, ears pointed forward.

I mimicked their stillness. Each beat of my heart came faster than the last as I waited for them to return to grazing. I knew what their actions meant when they didn’t. Something or someone was up there.

Should I wake my husband? No, I could handle this. On tip-toes, I jogged to the back door. I grabbed a flashlight, slipped my bare feet into cowboy boots, and covered my knee-length satin nightie with a quilted flannel barn shirt.

The yard lights were already off and I didn’t touch the switch. Outside the flashlight remained dark in my hand. My goal wasn’t to scare away, what or who, intrigued the horses. I had a hunch about the goings on up there and hence a plan in mind.

Again I tip-toed, this time across the backyard. My caution worked, the horses interest never diverted my way. When the barn became a barrier between me and them my pace quickened. Now, only the hill remained an obstacle, and if I stayed low and quiet, I should make it without drawing attention.

The closer I got to the top, voices became louder and clearer in a hushed yet understandable two person conversation. Although odd for the situation, it was laced with barely contained laughter and giggles. I had figured right. I knew these culprits and what they were doing.

Familiar with the surroundings, I crept forward unseen. I waited and listened getting a sense of the person’s whereabouts.

When they sounded near, I sprung from my crouch behind a fallen tree with a roar loud enough that the snoopy horses spun and fled down the hill.

Caught in the act of innocent revenge, two of my best girlfriends almost dropped to their knees with startled screams followed by muttered curses.

On this late Saturday in October, the husband and I had arranged for these two besties to do our evening chores under the pretence we would be away. When in actuality we spent hours staging the barn as a haunt in favor of Halloween’s approach.

We strung rubber bats in the darkened paths to light switches. Rubber mice and snakes got placed and positioned in or on things they needed for feeding the hay and grain.

Dressed in dark coveralls, the husband and I hid concealed by the water-tank behind the barn. From there we heard them encounter our gags and props, and their squeals and comments entertained us. The most fulfilling reaction happened when they slid the back door into the hay shed open. We had a stuffed bedsheet rigged to fly at them like a ghost and the shrieks that caused made our efforts worthwhile.

To have this plan work, our truck had to be off the yard. That afternoon the husband had driven it up a steep trail and parked it in the bush by the back pasture. We figured it could stay the night there and so we planned to retrieve it the next day.

Knowing my girlfriends, when I saw the horses acting strange and watching something, I guessed they had figured out where the truck was.

When I jumped out and interrupted them, it already had balloons tied to the mirrors and streamer decorated bumpers. The toilet paper wrapping had just begun.

I’m uncertain how long the three of us exchanged stories, laughed and visited that night on the hill, but the sun rose not long after I went to bed.

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Halloween for me, brings on fond memories like this, of fun times with family and friends.

With our young children, we did the traditional, dressing-up, decorating the yard, and door to door “Treat or Treating.” Although, being in the country meant we drove them house to house. Often a couple dads or moms rode together while the spouses stayed home and handed out treats. A get together at one of their homes afterwards usually followed.

Once our daughter and son got older, we traveled into the city for “Fright Night” at Fort Edmonton Park. Either our kids brought along friends or we met the oldest daughter, her husband and their children there.

Actors and volunteers haunted the historic buildings and sites with different levels of intensity. They handed out treats to the little ones, and had activities scattered within the park. We enjoyed hay rides, blazing bonfires and hot chocolate which warmed our chilled bodies. It was always a great time.

As a family we loved dressing-up for Halloween. It took weeks to plan and put together costumes and often we had themes for the night in the city. Here are a couple.

 tombstone-halloween

From “Tombstone” the Earp’s & Doc Holiday

wizard-of-oz-halloween From “The Wizard of Oz”

Have you ever decorated a homemade haunted house or yard?

Or Have you been through one?

Where The Heck?

key-basket

A spontaneous post of relief. We are not going crazy. Not yet anyway.

The situation started a couple days ago when the husband and I were building a shed base for an addition. It came time to cleanup for the day, and oh oh, did the keys just get locked inside the truck? No problem, right? We’ll grab the extra set.

A quick search of the key basket ended without success.

Now both sets of keys were missing. Peeking through the truck window we don’t see the first set. They must be on the ground somewhere.

We had to leave for a night away and both needed to get ready so he would scour the area where we worked while I took my shower.

A half hour later I had stuck my head out the door for a progress report. He snarled, “Would I still be looking if I’ve found them.” Okay, maybe it was a dumb question.

Then we heard a faint jingle. His jacket had an odd bulge. What the– The pocket lining had a hole and there between layers of cloth and stuffing we discovered the keys. Problem solved.

Not quite, where is the spare set?

We put the problem on hold until we returned home.

A new search began. Our cottage is not big, we head off in different directions to check all the logical places. Nothing. Well, darn it.

Maybe I left them in a previous purse I used? Nope.

With no luck, we’re stumped. Are we losing our minds?

Then he tells me there’s also a missing coat and thinks the keys are in one of its pockets. Neither of us can recall seeing that particular jacket all summer but a coat can’t disappear, this will be easier to find then a set of keys.

We dig through closets, nooks and crannies, the shed, trailer, the other vehicle, we’re defeated. Our mystery now involves two missing items.

It’s days later, the search is still ongoing. Again, we ask, are we losing our minds?

This morning in a text conversation, I mentioned our dilemma to the youngest daughter, maybe he left his coat at her place, I typed.

A miracle happened a short time later, she texted me back, she found the coat and keys!

What a relief.

Funny how all summer we hadn’t realized the keys or coat had gone missing and it’s also funny how once we knew it bothered us to no end, even though the items weren’t needed.