Rocking A Hospital Gown

What would make five adults get up at 3:00am, shovel snow to and off two vehicles, then drive an hour into the nearest city in winter blizzard conditions?

This little guys booked early morning surgery.

For those who knew this was where I’ve been this week, I’d like to send out a quick update.

Children’s resilience is amazing. Monkey, (our newest grandson) was a trooper for his recent day and a half hospital stay.

His kidney repair surgery went great, and even though he came home with some temporary body jewelry and a tube, he is back smiling and playing.

We are grateful for amazing medical knowledge, doctors, and all hospital staff who help people with life changing care and procedures.

If love alone can heal then this little guy has absolutely no worries.

Was It My Imagination

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Do you have an unexplainable fear or love for something? Can a simple sight, sound or smell, change how you feel?

For many years and with unwarranted intensity, I’ve loved the ocean and feared fire.

I love many of nature’s things, but the instant I hear, touch, or smell ocean water, I actually feel a calm come over me like no other. Like I’m returning home, yet I’ve never lived near an ocean.

As for phobias, I only have a couple minor ones and none compare to my fear of fire. Saying I fear fire isn’t really correct. I enjoy a campfire or fireplace, and I’m not afraid to burn candles and such. It’s that fires have raged and haunted me in reoccurring nightmares.

For years, I’ve had a theory about these two obsessions.

My reasoning came out of nowhere, as in no suggestive books, movies or conversations. It’s more like hints were slowly given to me in my sleep and over time. I didn’t spring out of bed one morning with the complete theory fresh in my mind.

I’ve kept none of these thoughts a secret. I’m not ashamed by them. In fact, I’ve shared, joked, and laughed about this theory with friends and family.

Before you call me crazy, let me tell you about a couple extraordinary experiences that make me question the truth behind my theory. 

It happened when Mister and I finally got a chance to go on a ocean cruise.

The instant I stepped aboard the cruise ship, panic began to build. I’m sure for some this is not unusual, and maybe it’s even common, but it caught me by surprise. I’ve always been extremely comfortable on or in water. We’ve owned boats for years, and I’ve been on many lengthy voyages on small and large ocean ferries.

Was my theory cause for this reaction?

You see this theory I speak of is, I believe in a past life I captained or worked on a big wooden ship. It was my way of life, my home for years, and that’s where my strong love of the ocean comes from.

My fear, or whatever it should be called, is also a result of this past life. I believe I died on the above ship, trapped by an onboard fire.

Was my theory all a tale created by my imagination? If so, how do I explain the strange occurrences that followed?

Brief flashes of deja-vu on this voyage were taken in stride, but what happened on the forth night will live with me forever.

It was full into night, and I was sound asleep when all of a sudden I shot up in bed. There was no unusual noises or motions, and only a sliver of a moon lit our cabin.

I woke with no worry or anxiety like when one has a nightmare. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Drawn to the window, I stood and scanned the dark silhouettes of passing land. I watched the boats running lights glisten on the rippled water as the ship began to quietly enter a channel to another port and our dock for the day.

There were previous night maneuvers like this, all which I slept through. But, on the forth night my heart raced with excitement, a feeling of familiarity, attachment, an appreciation of the area. 

What makes this unexplainable is I had never been to, seen pictures of, or even researched this port before this journey.

How can I not believe the long ago sailor in me knew this place?

This thought was reinforced by a memorable incident which happened the next day when the ship idled in place by a glacier.

While standing at the ships rail enjoying the view an announcement came over the speaker system. My worst nightmare began for real, yet instead of panicking, I stood barely phased. There was a fire onboard in the spa which required some areas of the ship to be evacuated.

For me, this was to show me that I no longer carried the sailors worries now that he had returned home the night before?

By the way, the fire which was electrical, was contained and put out with minimal damage.

In general, I don’t believe in things that can’t be seen, heard, or proven, but ghosts or drifting sprits are my exception.

Was this all coincidence?

Believe what you may, but I believe I returned a lost soul home while on this voyage.

It’s been ten years since this trip and I haven’t had a, trapped by fire, nightmare. I do still love the ocean though.

Have you ever experienced deja-vu?

Have you ever felt that a spirt guides, protects or is near you?

The picture is a couple whales playing beside the ship.

 

Party Pooper

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Yes, Mister and I acknowledge the day with the traditional greeting, and some years we’ve done the gift exchange, or a special date night.

Valentine’s day. A day to show that person in your life how much you love them. The concept is so sweet.

But, shouldn’t we be loving and kind to that person every day? Then they would know how much they mean to us. Isn’t an anniversary when we celebrate the union of our love?

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Valentine’s Day or those who cherish and celebrate it, I’m just sharing some thoughts.

Restaurants, stores and florists would lose a bundle without Valentine’s Day. It’s said to be one of the top occasions when couples splurge.

Have you noticed, the newer the relationship the more emphasis that’s put on this day?

Some think it’s because the spark fades the longer a couple is together. That romance dwindles. I don’t see it that way. I see partners comfortable with their love. Two people no longer needing continuous reassurances. They’ve learned money doesn’t buy or strengthen the bond. They aren’t caught up in, if I spend more, it means I love more.

I guess I’m a party pooper because all the hoopla of Valentine’s Day just isn’t my thing. An old fuddy-duddy. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s someone wise enough not to fall for things or be swayed by what others think. Smiley Face. This, of course, is my version of the definition.

Dinners out that night are too much hassle for us, places are crowded, or need reservations. We go for a meal but not on the fourteenth. As for buying each other gifts why would Mister and I do that on Valentine’s day? We rarely do for our birthdays or for each other at Christmas. Neither of us needs much anymore. If we do, we prefer picking out our own, and besides we always shop together so there goes that spoils the surprise part of gift giving.

For over 35 years, February 14 has a different importance for Mister and I. It’s our daughter’s birthday. If you’re expecting this to continue into a touching tribute or loving birthday wish, sorry to disappoint. That will be shared, in a family get together not here. If I write something special for one person, I would need to do it for them all, making my posts repetitive and possibly boring reads.

If you are anticipating Valentine’s Day,

my wish is that it’s as special as you hoped and planned for.

Do me a favor though, don’t forget to show your love more than just on Valentine’s Day, and remember it doesn’t take expensive gifts to accomplish the gesture.

Double Celebration

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Holy Moly, 12,775 days. Last Saturday we had double the celebrations, mine and Mister’s 35th Wedding anniversary, hence the day count, and Canada’s 150th birthday.

In our younger years, on the Canada Day long weekend we would revisit, Kelly’s Saloon at Fort Edmonton Park, where we were married.

Thirty-five years ago, we exchanged vows in a simple western themed ceremony inside the historic saloon with only family and a few friends in attendance.

It feels like yesterday until one thinks about all we have shared and achieved. The most precious and cherished being the wonderful kids we are blessed with and the continued growth of new generations.

We have sampled the richer and poorer, and in sickness and health, part of our vow’s.

We have laughed lots and cried some, me more so than Mister regarding the last one.

As couples do, we bicker, but our love and devotion for each other is as strong today as it was the day we said, “I do.”

Simple things that work for us.

Communication is our friend.

Saying the hard things is as important as saying, I love you.

We each learned to compromise, so neither of us makes all the sacrifices.

We didn’t lose ourselves, sometimes we do things without the other.

When one or both are stressed we lean on each other.

We ask each other their opinion and advice, it’s often helpful.

We don’t exchange material gifts anymore. The specialness of the occasion for us is relishing the fact we are still here to love one-another.

Mister says having our anniversary on a special holiday means he never forgets, and there is always tons of Canada Day activities to do.

I often forget to take blog related pictures, a perfect one for this post would have been the mass of 60 to 80 or more golf carts gathered for the annual July 1st, hot dog lunch at our resort.

Saturday evening the resort’s restaurant had an adult barn dance with a chuck-wagon buffet. We went with friends, but we learned early in the night it wasn’t what we expected. The four of us were like the tribes elders or the chaperones at a high school dance, in other words, the oldest there. Where were the other couples our age, we don’t know?

The extreme decimal they played the country tunes meant you needed to shout to communicate. Ourselves and the crowd obliged, creating an additional roar which we swear made them turn the music even louder. Aren’t I sounding like an old fuddy-duddy.

Our plan was to dance, but the youngen’s around us seemed content to drink. We should have done our own thing, but we already felt out of place.

An hour and a half later primed with liquid courage people flocked to the dance floor.

Was this our chance?

Nope.

The small floor area filled with arms flailing and bodies bopping while they all danced with each other. To our dismay there were no couples, and no two-stepping being done. So us and our old fashion ways spectated which was entertaining.

After the buffet, us four left and went to the nearest town for the annual firework show.

Not everybody can end their anniversary day with a great firework display, but we always do thanks to Canada Day celebrations.

Hope all our fellow countrymen had a wonderful Canada Day, and the same wish goes to our Southern neighbors for their 4th of July.

Did you stay home for Canada Day or July 4th, or take in some festivities?

A Queen Of Hearts

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Sharing a life with your child or children is a wonderful and indescribable journey. Not everyday runs smooth, and they shouldn’t. Lessons, good or bad are crucial to a person’s growth.

There are two sides to Mother’s day, a time for children to express their appreciation and a day for mothers to reflect on their joy.

Sometimes, work schedules or time with their spouse’s family means I can’t spend Mother’s Day, with one or all of our children. I understand though, and I’ve said this before, “Any day with them during the year, is Mother’s Day for me.”

Whether a visit on May 14, a phone call, or a message, I’m touched to receive the simplest acknowledgement.

Me as a Mother

Have I made mistakes?

You bet, but I’ve always done the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.

Will I make more mistakes?

Probably. There should be no repeats, but parenting didn’t come with a manual for new situations, and I will be a parent until the day I die.

I believe, I’ve had a few successful moments too, though. About now, I’m imagining the kids and Mister, groaning and rolling their eye’s, but I’m sure, given enough thought they can come up with some precious memories of things I did right.

My message to our children, forgive my past and future imperfections and misjudgments and know the bottom line is, this Queen of Hearts, will always love you.

To my long past Mother: My love didn’t die with your physical being. I miss and think of you every day.

The years you get with your parents are never enough, so appreciate them while they are alive.

For Mother’s reading this, I hope you have a day that makes you happy or words or a message that make you feel special and loved.

Never Too Old

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I doubt, I’ll ever be too old to wonder if my parents would be proud of me and us as a family. Whether they’re still here, on earth, or not doesn’t matter. We shared a closeness, and even though gone for decades, they remain in my thoughts and I still miss them every day.

Family bonds meant the world to my parents and I’ve followed their belief.

I’m sure, when they look down on us siblings and our families it pleases them, and they smile because we still get together.

With today’s world of social media, I think our mother would have enjoyed the ease of sharing pictures and keeping up with family members. I’m sure computers would have intimidated and frustrated her, but I bet she would have kept up with a few simpler sites and tasks. Dad, I can’t imagine doing more than maybe playing games and googling from time to time. Mister’s parents, I doubt would have had interest in internet technology.

As parents, we wish for our children’s safety, health, happiness and hope they find love. For people to treat them with kindness and respect and for them to treat others the same. For family to get along and be there for each other.

Stature and possessions are accomplishments but more importantly pride should cover how one handles life, and people.

Enjoy family and friends while they are alive, don’t wait until they pass to appreciate them.

As an adult do you still think about whether your parents are proud of your actions and choices?

 

Swinging With a Changing Family

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Family, a treasure in Life.

These family dynamics might confuse you at first, but I will explain.

  • Our son’s niece is six weeks older than he is.
  • The oldest daughter was pregnant with her first child when I was pregnant with our second.
  • The age between our daughters is greater than between the oldest daughter and myself.
  • I’m the same age as my son-in-law.
  • I have Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren, yet I’m not a senior by government age standards.

I’m sure you’ve begun to figure it out. My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage. We are a blended family, nothing uncommon there.

Why I wrote this post is the fifteen years between my husband and I, and how that sometimes brings confusion to a story.

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Generations, close in age means fun times together

I won’t use their names in stories so here’s a brief, who is who, and how I will refer to them in future posts. For instance, I will call my husband, “Mister.”

  • Mister’s daughter, (my stepdaughter, but I have never liked that impersonal label) will be “the Oldest or Oldest Daughter.”
  • Mine and Mister’s daughter will be, “Our Daughter or Youngest Daughter.”
  • Our son being there is only one has his title sewn up.
  • The Granddaughters I’ll number, oldest being GD 1. She’ll love that title, but girls you’re all number 1 with us. (Technically, they are my step-grandchildren, but I have never and will never consider them anything but ours.)
  • Our one Grandson makes that simple.
  • We have three Great-Grandchildren (GGC’s) so far and I’ll number them as they came into our lives.
  • When I speak of a adopted son or daughter, it’s an endearment not a legal scenario. These two children, adults now, and their mother have been entwined in our family for near thirty years. They are too special for the title of friends so we refer to them as adopted. Their dear Mother, who we greatly miss since her recent passing, was often jokingly referred to as, Misters Other wife.
  • Our cute four-legged Grand animals have given me permission to use their names.

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Some of the Grandchildren having fun with their Aunt and Uncle (I keep telling them they need to try this now that they’re in their twenties & thirties.) 

Over the years a couple minor hurdles have presented themselves, but the closeness and good times our family enjoys is worth every gray hair and smile line.

Often strangers have had comical responses to our age difference. I’ll share one reaction that we still joke about.

A towering male opened one of the heavy doors with thick glass covered mesh windows. He paused while two younger females with him entered. One hung back a step, her stride slow and hesitant.

Inside they faced a long, vacant and quiet hallway. When the three started walking the man’s cowboy boot heels clicked on the polished floors and two sets of squeaking sneakers joined in.

The two females shared a glance and actually giggled at the odd, rhythmic loudness.

They turned into the room marked “Office” and stepped to the reception desk in time for their scheduled appointment.

A smiling elderly woman led the trio to an inner office and gestured to three chairs. Behind the desk a man in a suit rose from his chair. Before they sat, the high-school principal shook the male newcomer’s hand.

“So, Mr… are both your daughters here to register for school?”

Mr… pointed to one female and replied, “This is my wife, and this,” he pointed to the other, “is my daughter…”

The principal turned colourful shades of red. Speechless for seconds, he shifted his feet and adjusted his suit jacket. He then voiced an apology, and we all sat.

The interview began, and during it the principle never once made eye contact with me.

Conclusions like this never bothered us. Awkward stares are also common when all the family is together and eavedropper’s hear people being addressed by their titles. Like if, I answer to both Grandma and Mom when young adults, close in age, call to me.

My skin has thickened with time, and I learned to brush aside unjust assumptions and judgements strangers sometimes make as to why we are together. We are where we are today because of 38 years of love, hard work, and combined efforts.

Age is only a number. True, but changing with age is inevitable. We enjoy our days and years together and simply tackle new challenges as life brings them.

Have you experienced a blended family?

Have you experienced love with an age difference?