What Holds Us Back

Does anyone remember the above saying?

I heard it thousands of times growing up.

Do you ever wish you could do something? Anything in our control qualifies for this question. Things like, learn a new hobby, language or to cook, play an instrument, game, sport, or even practical things like save money.

I’m certain everyone at some point has said, “I’d love to be able to…”

What sometimes keeps us from trying these things?

Is it a confidence issue?

Is it not liking change?

Is it as simple as, we don’t like to risk failure?

Are the wishful activities that dance in our heads not worth extra time, effort and maybe risking not doing them perfect at first or ever?

After all wouldn’t “failure” be not trying them at all?

Say, if after a month you can only count to ten in the new language you’ve been studying, that should still be seen as success, right?

Even the “I wish I could…” which involves changing a current habit should be considered here.

What if after a week you’ve only saved 50 cents a day, that’s still saving, right? Plus, the following weeks goal could be simply increase to another reachable amount.

It’s common to get enthused by success, and discouraged by defeat. So, lets not make our goals for something new or habit changing difficult to reach.

Remember, even the tiniest accomplishment or change can help you reach the big goal.

Take someone whose “I wish” is to have a more organized house. Tackling it in small areas it’s not as overwhelming.

This makes me think of something I was once told years ago and I truly believe. “A messy, unorganized living space reflects what’s going on in your life.” Often physically cleaning up the clutter will help settle inner anxiety.

We should give ourselves easy goals to achieve, approach things in steps, and maybe lighten up a bit on our expectations.

Here’s something I’ve often wondered. When someone says they can’t do something for example cook, do they really mean “can’t” or is it they “don’t want to try”?

As adults we need to study the young. How do they learn to walk? Do they give up after the first fall? No, they do it in stages over time and with lots of effort. They sit, then stand, then move on to taking steps.

After spending a couple days with “Monkey” (our little grandson) it occurred to me that we are born with a tremendous amount of try in us. Anything new Monkey comes across that he wants to do he is persistent until he succeeds.

Perhaps in this time of Covid-19 you took a chance to try something that has been a wishful thought, or perhaps you tackled changing a habit.

Why as we age do we let the determination and persistence we are born with slip away?

 

What Influences You?

By this age, I should have mastered, which if any, movie or book messages can influence me. There are times though when unwanted impressions are hard to shake.

Did watching Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in “Ghost” make me believe in visits from beyond? Oh wait, bad example. I believed long before seeing that movie that spirts can communicate with us. Mind you, not to that extent, but that is for another post.

Did watching “The Brave Little Toaster” or “Toy Story” make me believe toys have feelings and can come alive? Certainly not. My mom told me about this when I was a little girl. Don’t judge her parenting skills or think what a horrible thing to put in a child’s head. Her exact words have long disappeared, but I smile at this recollection because it never spooked or haunted me. She would tell me to put my dolls, stuffy’s, and farm animals away nice and neat. Occasionally she added something simple, although maybe suggestive like, would you want to wake up at the bottom of a pile or in a dark corner? I’m sure she was just teaching me to appreciate and treat my things with respect, and it worked. I will not confess or deny if our children heard any similar comments in their youth. Smiley face.

Did watching Alfred Hitchcock’s, “The Birds,” affect me? Darn right it did. It instilled a strong cautiousness harboring near fear which I’ll probably never outgrow. Believe me, visiting a bird sanctuary is not on my list to do.

Why am I babbling about movie messages and how they influence us is because of the 2007 comedy/drama, “Bucket List?” It made those two words a popular phrase, you hear almost every day. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie and I get the concept, but I recently realized the phrase, bucket list, bothers me.

I will no longer reference, Bucket list, pertaining to my personal life. I’m switching back to saying, making goals. Goals, has a positivity, a hopefulness, it’s something to strive for and work towards. Checking things off a bucket list is a bit depressing. Oh look, I got one more thing done before… I’d rather say I achieved another goal.

Some of my Goals for 2018.

A big one is, Live by the advice I give others. To not stress and worry about things I don’t and can’t control.

I need to remember, when it comes to our children (actually adults), part of growing is figuring out your own way and learning by the choices. Parents often have opinions which stem from their own experiences, but with youth, as in ours, freedom to follow their own path is necessary.

Not worrying about kids, no matter their age, is impossible. Mister and I try to wait to give suggestions or advice until asked. It’s not that we don’t trust their skills, it’s just sometimes age knows better, or so we think. Another Smiley face.

I will continue to work on when to say something and when not to. I hope our kids realize, it’s not nagging when I say something, or my silence is never because I don’t care. Unbelievable love controls my reactions.

Another goal is, Alzheimer’s sunk its teeth into a sibling last year, so I’m going to keep the sadness that comes with this in check. Instead, enjoy every chance we can spend together and stay positive for that person and their spouse.

Write and read more is a goal ever year.

As always exercise more (with my shoulder healed, get out kayaking again). Eat healthier (occasionally ignoring the snacks that call to me from the pantry) and be productive with planned projects.

Of course, I hope Mister and I can travel this year, take at least one special trip. Our problem is deciding where to go.

In short my 2018 goals are, stress less. Take nothing for granted. Appreciate what I have, not worry about what I don’t, and put even less emphasis on material items. Do things that make me happy. Enjoy every day and spend as much time as I can with family and friends.

Do you set goals or have a Bucket list?

Is there a movie that has influenced your life?

Habits, Good or Bad

Does anybody else have their next day planed before going to sleep? How common is it being a regimented planner, or do most people get up and let their day simply unfold?

I can’t imagine doing that, not even on vacation.

Since grade school, I’ve made daily, weekly, monthly, even seasonal lists. My theory for how this started relates to my horse competing and training days.

Oh so long ago, at age seven, I got my first pony. Star, and I are pictured above.

My parents didn’t have a horse background. Check out my Bio Page for how this came about. Our family lived in the city, so the little gelding was boarded at a local stable.

I fell in love with everything horse, and by age 10, I entered my first Barrel Racing event.

Passion kept escalating, and it became apparent I wasn’t going through a phrase like people suspected. In a few years I out-grew the Shetland, and a slightly bigger gelding, an ex-chariot racing pony replaced him.

There never was money for riding lessons, so I read all I could, listened, observed, and studied others who rode at the stable. Occasionally, I would ask an experienced mentor at the barn questions. With trial and error, I began the self-taught venture of re-training my racy mount and honing my horsemanship skills.

Learning this way came with great benefits, I gained a feel, or understanding of horses. Often, I could sense changes in their behavior before they became issues.

Together, the feisty Welsh-Thoughbred and I became accomplished at showing in Western Pleasure, Equitation and Trail classes.

As a teen I worked part time and saved for a young, unbroke, registered Quarter Horse. My parents surprised me when they paid the remainder owing and had him delivered on my fourteenth birthday.

For me, this is where planning and setting goals really began. Still, without outside help the gelding and I worked hard. Together we learned, and became a very competitive and successful duo in Western and English flat classes, Jumping, Driving and even gymkhana events.

Many other horses and breeds followed in my almost 40 years of showing and training.

I believe daily goal lists began because of the need to plan and schedule conditioning and fine tuning between shows. It was vital to have horses peak at the right times while giving them their deserved down time too.

I may no longer strive to perfect a horse’s training but the habit of making, to do lists, carried into all aspects of life.

I thought this behavior might ease when we retired at the lake but it hasn’t. What has changed are items on my, to do list. They’re simpler, mostly hobbies, crafts and chores. I’m not as structured, getting distracted from a chore happens often and is no big concern. Some things remain on a list for long periods before getting checked off.

But a day without getting even the smallest thing accomplished feels like a wasted day for me.

Do you plan your day or week in advance?

Questions & My Answers

I was tagged by a fellow blogger to partake in this quiz. I hope my answers shed a hint of light as to what makes me tick. Check out Living Lighter in Atlanta for her answers.

What was your highlights of 2016?

This question seemed easy as three things shot to mind. The accomplishment and pride I felt holding a print copy of my novel, “Signed Love” published in February. Sharing a summer trip to the beloved Oregon coast with my brother and his wife, and of course, Mister’s results showing that his radiation treatment is still keeping the cancer beast at bay. But, 2016, had many highlights. The Great-Granddaughter’s birth. Watching our daughter after surgery a couple years ago finally able to ride horses again. Seeing how much the son enjoys his new Doberman puppy which he has wanted for years. Constructing our new shed which might sound boring, but I love building, these are just a few others. Don’t get me wrong, the year had its share of worries and woes, but with every year I age it seems easier to let the good push aside the bad.

Name one thing you are likely to remember about 2016 if asked in five years time?

Is this a trick question? (Smiley Face) The years pass and blur together more each calendar change so truthfully I have a hard time remembering what happened what year. (Smiley Face again) This is why I journal, make notes and take pictures. I will be interested in the answer to this question myself.

Sum up 2016 in one word.

Short! Time flew.

Name one pearl of wisdom from 2016 that you will carry into 2017.

I can only control my own actions and reactions, not what others think or do.

Do you have any new year resolutions?

For details check out my new-year post My Messengers. I don’t make resolutions for things I want to change. I set broad lifestyle standards to maintain like, be kind and appreciative.

How did you ring in the new year?

Work schedules, driving conditions and other commitments meant we couldn’t be with family, but the cold snowy night didn’t stop our good friends T & E from walking over for an evening of card playing and laughs. At midnight, we were in the middle of a hand, so when completed we paused for the traditional hugs and kisses before continuing playing well into the new year.

What are your goals for 2017?

Stress less and enjoy more. Travel and visit as much as possible. I have so many hobbies and planned projects so I also hope to be productive.

Anyone is welcome to join in, and share your answers or thoughts to the above questions.

I tagged a few bloggers that I enjoy following and look forward to their answers if they wish to take part. Check out their blogs.

threesaherd

ididnthavemyglasseson

backfortyfliers

brokenbarnfarm

My Messengers

Golden Retriever, “Ruben” and Doberman, “Dobby” are helping me wish everyone “HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Ruben, 3 and a half years old, loves poising for pictures and is always willing to send messages, to and for, Grandma.

Dobby, a 7 month old puppy says, “Look Grandma, I’m sitting nice, but I really want to lick the camera.” I guess a sign he just wanted to eat.

Here’s hoping “2017” brings Good Health and Happiness to my readers.

May Wishes Come True, and you Reach Goals you’ve set.

To my Followers and Faithful Readers I also want to say, Thank you.

Your views, likes, comments, and patience while I’m learning the blogging process means a lot. These simple gestures encourage me to keep writing, and hint to what topics are enjoyed the most.

The goal for my blog in “2017” is to continue sharing experiences in hopes to entertain, or inspire readers, and I love connecting with you via comments.

As for personal resolutions, I try not to set myself up for failure, like saying I’ll exercise and lose weight, that one never turns out as planned.

But, here are my Top five “2017” Goals.

1)  I want to visit and Enjoy Family and Friends as much as possible.

2) Appreciate what I have, and don’t dwell on what I don’t. At this point in life the main thing missing is, youth.

3) Continue to live by the Golden Rule. (Do unto others as you would have others do onto you)

4) Worry less, this is always the hardest for me to control. Sometimes, I worry about worrying. 

5) Spend more time doing hobbies that make me happy. (I have so many, I worry about which one to do. See number 4, is a problem.)

Quarter horse, “Nugget,” wanted to send his well wishes too, but he said it was too windy to have that silly paper sign around his neck.

Do you have animals that put up with photography antics?

Do you make “News Years resolutions” or set yourself goals?